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  • Attention: to our 12 customers that did not receive their orders yet (late Jan/Feb/& 1/2 March)::

  • We were not arrested, we are still in Business, per our legal team advisor. :) We have complied with all requests from officers requesting info, but it doesn't change the fact that our computers, servers, any paper files all got stolen during a robbery at our shop and everything was horribly destroyed in a borrowed 24hp wood chipper parked beside our shop, evidenced by the piles of confetti left on the tall dry grass, before the brush fire burned through. :)    damn man! what the hell happened boyz ???:)

  • We still would like our favorite wood chipper (named "Brandon" !:) to be returned. It is red, white & blue with white stars around the brush entrance and exit shutes, chrome rims on a single axel.

  • $500 reward for recovery of Brandon & free product to folks giving tips by email. Have a lil' fun with the comments by email, might post the best ones :) we still have 2 more chippers, all bigger, but we miss this lil" guy. :( sniff :( he was last seen in Vegas, then LA, then Houston, now Nags Head area?? :) he may have a new tattoo in bold gold & black colors that says : Remember 9-11 & 1776?   Free Memory Refreshment here, just ask..."    is on each side, but just a rumor right now since Brandon is stealthy like Sasquatch.   :)

  • reGard-less,....we will contact these10 of the 12 unfulfilled customers, (since 2 filed for refunds) & treat these 10 like the patriots they are. :) free gifts and such, got some nice'uns from Browning last month. :)

  • We are still in business and we WILL push one hell of sale (called $88-full-on fukit Sale) as soon as our new computer, server, router has our updated security devices (complete Merlin system) installed this week.

  • Big Thank You! and Warmest Regards, Uncle Ant & the 5 Second Firearm Team.....lets Go Brandon!.....& a few other commies.....

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The 5 Second Firearm Team

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